Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood by Richard B. Gartner

By Richard B. Gartner

With compassion and readability, Richard Gartner stocks insights from years of operating with male survivors. between this book's maximum strengths is the vast use of examples from Dr. Gartner's medical perform to demonstrate difficulties and ideas at the route to therapeutic. past Betrayal deals aid, encouragement, and invaluable talents to males in recovery.
--Mike Lew, M.Ed., writer of sufferers not and jumping upon the Mountains

""If you've been sexually abused, this publication provides you with info, wish, path, and most significantly, the reassurance that you're not on my own. Dr. Gartner has written an obtainable, compassionate ebook that essentially lays out the therapeutic method for males who have been harm or abused as youngsters. even if you have been abused through a mom, a camp counselor, an area boy, or a clergyman, past Betrayal provides you with the instruments you must reclaim your lifestyles and flow on. in case you are going to take one e-book with you at the therapeutic trip, this could be the one.""
--Laura Davis, coauthor of The braveness to Heal and writer of The braveness to Heal Workbook

""Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, past Betrayal shines a brilliant mild. it's a must-read for somebody concerned.""
--Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., writer of Silently Seduced

""Beyond Betrayal cuts in the course of the disgrace, confusion, false impression, and worry that so usually accompany the abuse of men and replaces them with transparent info. i'm going to start to use it instantly with my sufferers and imagine that different clinicians will achieve this as well.""
--Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., writer of therapeutic the Incest Wound and reminiscences of Sexual Abuse

""Beyond Betrayal bargains males easy phrases of wish and a significant technique to conquer the invisibility, stigma, and disgrace they've got continued. Many males and their households will locate this ebook a therapeutic aid.""
--Jack Drescher, M.D., writer of Psychoanalytic treatment and the homosexual Man

""Dr. Gartner writes in a fashion any reader will locate available. not just does he comprehend the subject of men, sexual abuse, and restoration, yet he can clarify it to those that have to know.""
--Dr. Mic Hunter, writer of Abused Boys and editor of grownup Survivors of Sexual Abuse: remedy Innovations

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Additional info for Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse

Example text

Why would a man have sexually based wariness and revulsion about men with no sexual interest in him? He might believe his masculinity has been destroyed, nothing can make it right again, and the piece of him that makes him male is missing. ” Fearing this would expose him to further humiliation, ridicule, and shame, he avoids relationships with other men to ensure he won’t be disgraced. Seth: Passively Fearing Other Men Seth felt a continual sense of contempt from men, especially men in groups. Although frightened of men, he also longed desperately to be accepted by them and treated like an equal.

Recovery It’s natural to want to recover from betrayal, and quickly. But recovery takes time. It requires patience with yourself. It calls on you to forgive yourself for your failures, accept your progress, and find ways to voice what you’ve never spoken about before. Nothing has to be done immediately, nor can it be. There’s no way to know what your life will be like when you’ve recovered. And there’s no way to avoid discouragement and setbacks along the way. But the possibilities for human development don’t lie in the past.

One self may believe all men are predators. Another knows only one way to get its way: by acting seductively. See if you recognize any of these “masculine” selves within you: • The inexpressive, emotionally flat self • The compulsive, endlessly busy self sexual abuse and manhood 39 • The needy self • The victim self • The controlling self • The feminized self • The sexually conquering self • The supermasculine self • The angry, abusive self • The boy self Rigidly keeping to selves like these and being unable to shift to others doesn’t allow you to live fully, to adapt and change as you move from one life situation to another.

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