Humor Satire

Baby's First Book of Seriously Fucked-up Shit by Robert Devereaux

By Robert Devereaux

From an orgy among God, devil, Adam and Eve to good looks pageants for fetuses. From an incredible human-absorbing tongue to a spot the place God is within the eyes of the psychopathic. it is a social gathering on the furthest limits of human decency and cruelty. Robert Devereaux is your host yet be careful, he is spiked the punch with medicinal drugs, intercourse, and dismemberment. Deadite Press is proud to offer ten tales of the unusual, the gross, and the simply undeniable fucked up from probably the most unique voices in horror - Robert Devereaux.

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Example text

I ache inside, ache for my loss. It’s not fair, I think. She loves me and I love her and by God we belong together. I’ll call her in the morning when she’s back in the city, I’ll send roses, I’ll surprise her with a knock on her door. We’ll elope. This isn’t the Dark Ages, after all. Tinkerbell and I don’t need her parents’ permission to marry. Doors slam in the house. Downstairs, upstairs. A high-pitched voice, Melissa’s, shouts something childish and angry, is answered by falsely calm parental soothings.

She did as he asked. Kyle smiled and fingered Pause again. 15 Robert Devereaux *** With my rod tucked snug inside Annie and my palms to either side of her elbows on the window sil , I could see Hefty Jake riding into town off to our left, his jet-black stal ion snorting like a raging bul . Jake’s manhood rode before him, standing up stiff as a knight’s lance. Its tip glistened like red brass in the sunlight and its shaft was as hard and empurpled as dark amethyst. At the peal of a high whinny to my right, I swung my head about and took in, not far distant, Lily Mae astride a milk-white filly, its chestnut mane flowing free.

We’ll elope. This isn’t the Dark Ages, after all. Tinkerbell and I don’t need her parents’ permission to marry. Doors slam in the house. Downstairs, upstairs. A high-pitched voice, Melissa’s, shouts something childish and angry, is answered by falsely calm parental soothings. None of the words can I make out. The first floor goes dark after a while, then bit by bit the second. From where I’m standing, it looks like a miniature house, one of my basement models. I raise both hands and find I can obliterate it completely.

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