Cremes

I have subscribed to receive free ARC books in return for reviews from LibraryThing.com. This is my first one.

Around my age (the youthful bliss of 24), the baby question comes up a lot, especially after marriage. Actually, I think the questions began before we actually got married, but those questions were all from other people, on the outside looking in. The question I’m talking about comes from within myself. Am I ready to have babies? Do I ever really want babies? Can I stand the pain of childbirth? What do I do with a baby? Can I handle the responsibility? All those questions melt into the big one, which doesn’t really fit into one particular sentence. I can’t say personally that I’ve felt the urge that I hear supposedly happens to women when their biological clock’s alarm rings, but the “baby thoughts”, so-to-speak, still hover in the background of my brain at all times. (more…)

My horrible sickness of about two months ago has returned, although thankfully, nowhere near as bad. I’ve been able to eat for the most part, and the one sleepless night was spent in the ER so I didn’t have to toss and turn all night because of feeling horrible (which I would have, had I been home). I basically started feeling bad at around 10pm on Wednesday night, got to the ER by 1am when I realized it was going to be a long night anyways, and saw a doctor and started my antibiotics by 5am. I was so exhausted and dizzy from the medication and the no sleep, that I didn’t make it to the office again until Friday noon. (more…)

I generally like relationship “self-help” books. Not usually out of any specific need to improve my own, although I’ve often felt that it would have made previous relationships and problems a lot clearer or easier to understand. I’ve read the classics: Relationship Rescue by Dr Phil, He’s Just Not That Into You, and a few others, leading up to Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I guess that I should have read this one first, since I’m pretty certain it was the first published, and may have spawned this whole “relationship therapy” genre, but I never really had an interest until I listened to a radio interview with the author, Dr. John Gray. He was promoting a newer Mars/Venus tome entitled When Mars and Venus Collide (which I have not yet read), and I thought some of the things he mentioned in the interview were interesting. I figured it would be a lot easier to grab a copy of the original book and read that while I waited for this particular volume. I received a copy of the 90 minute audio book in the mail, and listened to it one afternoon while filing at work. (more…)

I attended a short (mandatory) training session through my work this past week. I envisioned an hour of being talked at about how we needed to answer the phone kindly, never show emotion to co-workers, and basically how to be a robot in the office. I was pleasantly surprised by the informality of the session and the tips and strategies we talked about. First and foremost, the speaker said what most of us were thinking: dealing with clients is usually not that bad - it’s our coworkers that we have the worst time dealing with. We briefly touched on why that is, but we didn’t really get into it. (more…)

You may have noticed some changes lately. What you see now is very likely not the final product, as I am going to get the new Wordpress software installed this weekend (I hope) and I’ll be messing with tags and all kinds of things. I have two complete posts (I hope no one has ADD because they are sort of lengthy) ready to be posted, with more ideas juicing out of me. All of my old posts are being condensed into 1 category - named Old Cremes, with the exception of a few others. I hope to have fresh, new, interesting material for everyone really soon. Not only am I planning to do more intellectual and thought-driven blogs, but I’m also not completing throwing away the “Dear Diary” types. I’ve got a special category just for those, so if I have any life updates that merit sharing, I will do so. My (2) readers have spoken, and I aim to please. For every day goings-on, I urge you to follow me on Twitter, whether or not you intend to update yourself. I’ve been updating it regularly when I am at work and really, the minutiae of my life is on that service, not on this blog. I’m planning to revamp my main page too, so I will have feeds from my Google Reader that I find interesting and other “badges” from social networking sites I enjoy.

I’ve been unhappy about my writing life for awhile, so I feel like this is the perfect solution for my current schedule, and I’m really excited about it.  I don’t have the time or the energy to work on my novel right now, although it definitely is still on the backburner of my mind. Someday I hope to churn that baby out. Until then, there are things I want to think about, talk about, about start conversations about that I hope anyone coming across this blog will find amusing and interesting. I don’t think you’ll find any serialized fiction or poetry here, but what I hope you will find are some (relatively) short essays on numerous topics that are interesting and engaging. Oh, and I hope you all like pink.

I feel like my blog has gotten more bloated than a Microsoft application. I want to write about things that matter to me, like stuff I read in the news or just issues I agree or don’t agree with, or even human behavior, but I feel like I’ve pigeon-holed myself into a “dear diary” blog that pretty much just talks about my boring life. Is it possible to scrap everything I’ve posted before into an archive so that it’s not gone forever, and wipe the slate clean and start fresh? I do sometimes like to look back at what I’ve been up to but I’m really bored with my own blog. I’m really about so much more than hating my job and pets.

This weekend was kind of crummy for a lot of reasons I won’t really get into. Some of them got resolved, but you know, some don’t. It’s the way it goes, I guess. I’m just lucky that I’ve got a great hubby that supports me and some very good friends to help me get through it. I’ve been really itching for a vacation lately, but unfortunately I don’t have the vacation time from work to be able to just get outta town. Weekend getaways are nice, but I feel like I need something more like a month.  I’m going to try and get some more comp time in at work so that I can take a real vacation before September. Even if the vacation is at home. I think my mind needs the vacation most of all. I’m starting a private journal to help get the random thoughts out of my head. Maybe a mix of story writing and just thoughts, so that I can have a creative outlet and maybe it will get me started into writing my novel. And then I can sell it and go on vacation for a month.

I saw this video in church a few years ago and it never left my mind. I wanted to share it because it left a huge impression on me. During our service, when he says “the grave couldn’t hold him” the whole congregation just cheered. It was a moment I won’t forget.

I’ve been wanting to do posts about interesting things I get in my Google Reader for awhile, but I’ve never actually sat down and done it. I wanted it to be a weekly thing, like every Friday or something. I’m a few days late, but here’s last weeks interesting reads.

Misreporting on Divorce - Freakonomics Blog
This one was interesting because I always believed the 50% divorce rate you hear about on TV. It’s sort of nice to know that the rates are actually going down, not up, and that they have been since the 70s. That still doesn’t give us any idea what the rate actually is, but at least we know it’s not getting out of control.

Wal-Mart: Brain-damaged former employee can keep money - CNN
There was apparently a huge debate over this. I only found out about it second-hand, but noticed this article when it popped up in my feeds. I’m glad that Wal-Mart decided to let the lawsuit go. We probably will question their motives, but the important thing is that they did the right thing.

Woman arrested on suspicion of stalking John Cusack - CNN
Poor guy. Looks really shell-shocked in the picture, too.

Protect your identity - Styledash
Not sure that these shades complete any look, but it’s an interesting idea at the very least.

I’ve been trying to “improve” myself in a lot of ways in the last few years. I’ve been dieting (or changing to a healthier lifestyle), reading more varieties of books, and trying to expand myself culturally and mentally. It seems that I always set out with these great intentions but then I just get lazy or let life get in the way. One example of this is the novel I’ve been trying to write since I was in high school.

I’ve started about 10 different novels in the course of my life. Technically I finished one, but I’ve lost the manuscript so I’m sure that it doesn’t count anymore. I vaguely remember what it was about, but it wasn’t special enough to recreate. The point is that I know that I can see it through if I put in the time and effort, but for some reason I just can’t scrounge that up. It’s always been a huge goal of mine to be published, and not just something lame, but a real novel that I can go to Barnes and Noble and hold in my hands. I keep a document on Google Docs handy for whenever creativity strikes. I’ve currently got two outlines that are half finished and scads of other story ideas that I haven’t had the time or inclination to flesh out. I know I’ve got to put myself in a position to be able to write, or at least dictate, my words down.

I’ve been toying with the idea of having a “Meags” night one evening a week after work. I pick a day of the week and just go to Panera Bread or Starbucks, bring my laptop, grab a coffee and just write. Or if nothing comes to me, I can read, or just do some “me” thing. I am definitely an introvert, I need time alone to think and to absorb life. I just feel so lazy when it actually comes to doing more than taking a bath or going to bed early or zoning out in front of the TV. I’m not sure why I haven’t just bit the bullet and done it already, but I keep feeling like something is holding me back.

I sort of have this daydream where I go to live somewhere abroad for a year and be completely alone. (The current locale of choice is Dublin - blame the novel PS, I Love You.) But I know that deep down, I don’t really want to be all alone for a period of months. As much as I like solitude and self-reflection, I also really enjoy conversation and sharing. Obviously, the solution would be to take some time out when I need it and go work on my novel, but once again, I’m having extreme difficulty in motivating myself to do it. I keep thinking “well, if I didn’t work 40 hours a week, I’d have more time to go do that sort of thing”, but I know that I’m just making excuses for myself.

I don’t want to overwhelm myself with all of my goals (being fit, reading a lot, keeping a clean house) but I also don’t want to feel like I did nothing but work and collapse for an extended period of my life. I’ve known for awhile that full time work just isn’t for me, but it seems like now I can’t do anything but keep on keeping on, especially with other goals looming over my head (buying our first house, having financial security). I hate having to choose between several things that I desire equally.

I really don’t know how to end this thought, since as of yet I have no solutions. I know what I want, but I don’t know how to make that happen in a desirable way. I’m hoping that eventually, the feeling will just strike me and I’ll be putting on my coat and heading out, laptop in tow.