I know I should be doing some homework but I saw a comment for an old post and it happened to also have a comment by my ex that I’m no longer keeping in contact with. I think I may have used that comment to completely sever ties, since I felt (and still feel) that there’s no reason to keep in touch. When I look back all I feel is embarressment. And although I know that it happened for a reason, I still wish it hadn’t. Because if Cody hadn’t brutally broken my heart, I wouldn’t have been vulnerable and gone for Joel, then I wouldn’t have realized I deserved better than to be treated like crap and actually started being choosy about who I got romantically involved with. Then I wouldn’t have met Mike, fallen in love, and gotten engaged… well, the chances are lesser, at any rate. And I wouldn’t want to trade my present situation for anything, I just wish the path to here had been somewhat different.

I did a quick search to see if the ex is still alive, and he is. Makes me wonder if half the people I knew in elementary school and on are still alive. What they’re doing. Maybe one of these days I’ll look everyone up. Maybe even send an email.

Or maybe just let old memories fade.