Sometimes I wish I hadn’t even bothered to come to university. When I look at an assignment and it makes me cry, I know that something is wrong. Maybe not wrong with me, but wrong with this situation. I don’t even really know why I’m still pushing myself to go through with this anymore. I don’t even know if I’ll use this degree, and then I’ll feel really stupid for wasting $50 000 for nothing. There are so many other things that I’m interested in that I almost feel impatient to get on with them and just leave school behind. I mean, I like this whole archiving thing, but I don’t know if I could figure out recording equipment on my own. It’s so dang complicated. I suppose I could read the manuals and crap, which I don’t have the time to do here, but frig. Not to mention the studio is completely screwed up and most of what we learn in there isn’t even applicable to the real world since the equipment is outdated. Heck, half of the stuff that we learn isn’t what we really need to know. Either that or it’s by trial and error since we’re hardly even taught. It’s all enough to drive me insane. And then there’s the whole music aspect. I went into my voice lesson last week just to get yelled at for forgetting to email him that I was stuck in the states — like he ever emails me when he’s not going to show! He doesn’t even schedule a makeup lesson! I skipped lunch to go to my lesson one day and I waited for 30 minutes before his TA came down to tell me he wasn’t coming. Uh, thanks for the EMAIL! There is just so much wrong with everything. But I keep it all to myself, since there’s no point in mouthing off to a prof who is grading you. It seems that working my ass off never seems to pay off.
I know, you’re all thinking, it’s just a bad day, she’ll get over it… blah blah. It just would be nice to take another vacation and not have to worry about how much I suck at school.
omg i know!
now imagine all those thoughts and add a graduation in the near future to the situation and you get my dead end.
porfs are dumb…..
i don’t want to teach….
what the F*@!* am i suppose to do? coz really. where is the motivation to do any of this bull shit when i KNOW in the long run it will have absolutly NOTHING to do with what i’ll end up doing.
a fellow english major once commented about our degree if one was not going on to masters or education: “you can quote shakespeare and joyce while flipping burgers”
as horrible as that is….that really is all my degree is going to be worth when i’m done.
and that’s all i have to say…right now….