Cremes

I don’t really know what to feel. I’m conflicted about everything. On the one hand, there’s normal life. Normal stress that happens every day. Stuff like, will my supper taste ok? Will I get this assignment done? Can I afford to pick up an extra shift at work? Did that CD I just bought be awesome or craptacular? Did I waste money I couldn’t really afford at that music store?

Then there’s everything else.
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So I’m living in an apartment now and not on res (Yay). But lately I’ve noticed that I’m doing the cooking, cleaning, and taking out of garbage plus all my school crap. I’m getting to the end of my rapidly fraying rope (to quote Julia Roberts). I completely cleaned the entire apartment that Saturday of the snow storm. From top to bottom, until the power went out.

I’ve pretty much been the only one trying to keep it that way. Now don’t get me wrong, I like my roommate. But I just wish that she’d pitch in a bit more. I doubt that she reads this, although it would make it easier to bring it up since she would already know that the problem exists, so I don’t know how to go about telling her. I know she’s going through a not so good time, but that doesn’t give her leave of abscence from reality. I can’t do everything. I’m not doing well in my classes, and I’m trying to remedy that. I’d like to get tons of work done so that I don’t have to worry about it when I’m visiting my father this weekend. I can’t do it all!!!!!! I’m just one person, one very emotionally unstable person, and I just can’t handle all of this pressure.

Gosh I need a vacation so badly.

I don’t really have anything important to say right now, so I’ll take the time to mention a few sites that are worthy of being mentioned.

My friend Alyssa’s blog. Now since I’m hosting her blog and it hasn’t seen all that many hits, then you should all go and check it out. It might even encourage her to update it more often! So go and read up on her trials and tribulations.

Another friend’s (Holly) art sites. She has an account on both Deviant Art and Sheezy Art(where I also have an account, check it out, too!) She’s got some great stuff up there so look it over and leave a comment if you wish.

Last, but definitely not least, check out my forum. We’ve got a good little community going but a few extra voices are always welcome. I recently changed some things around and added in something that slightly resembles a trading post type thing. So come on down and join the party!

Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that’s so hard to bear
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the morning, fever all through the night

Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name, and you know I’m gonna treat you right
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the morning, fever all through the night
Everybody’s got the fever, that is something you all know
Fever isn’t such a new thing, fever started long ago

Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her, he said “Julie baby you’re my flame”
Thou givest fever, when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth
Fever - I’m afire, fever yea I burn forsooth

Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair
When her Daddy tried to kill him, she said “Daddy-O don’t you dare”
Give me fever - with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight
Fever - I’m his Missus, Oh daddy won’t you treat him right

Now you’ve listened to my story, here’s the point I have made:
Chicks were born to give you fever, be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade
They give you fever - when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn
Fever - till you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn

[words & music by john davenport & eddie coole]

Well, we’re in the home stretch peoples! Less than two weeks to go, and final assignments are being tossed out. I have a paper due, ear training assignments to catch up on, the usual tri-weekly theory assignments. I like knowing I can name almost everything I have to do before the last day of classes. I like knowing I have a semblence of organization. I also like knowing that today marks ONE MONTH until Mike gets here!! The cloud feels like it’s lifting.

My dad is in the city at this very moment, and mom is up there with him. She came up for the weekend to see him (and me of course) and she baked up a storm while she was here last night. I have turnovers and pies and who knows what else in the fridge, waiting to be munched up. Pretty soon, I have to run down to campus and practice a bit, then have my piano lesson and then go into the recording studio for three hours. After that, it’s researching time in the library until 6ish and then I’ll trudge back home.

Slowly but surely, I’ll get it all done!

Yeah, so maybe ya’ll are wondering where I disappeared to? Or maybe you didn’t even notice. That’s fine. But I’m going to tell you where I went anyways!

So when I woke up on Sunday, there was no power. There was still heat in the apartment, so it wasn’t a big deal. I kept waiting … and waiting… and waiting… And the power never came back on. I ate some cold sandwiches and snuggled under mounds of blankets and sweaters and with a kitty, and found some things to keep me occupied. I got some matches from my neighbor and cross stitched by candlelight. (I’ve never made as many mistakes in my life!) Watched a movie until the battery on my laptop died. Then I went to sleep, figuring that the power would come back on while I was sleeping.

No such luck.
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A few days ago, this is the picture that I took outside my window to show Mike what fall leaves looked like. [Click to enlarge]

This morning, this is what I saw.

I knew it was coming, but it was still a shock to see it outside my living room window this morning. I even already had the Christmas tunes going in the background! And of course I have a ton of errands to do today! Bah humbug!

I still haven’t been able to think of anything decent to write about in here. I don’t have any updates on my father, I’ve been still in this mess known as school and trying to keep my head above water. I have a million things that need to be done before the end of classes. But no time to do anything.

I would very much like to go home this weekend. Instead, I will probably spend it cleaning my apartment. It’s a freakin’ mess. My room looks like it barfed. Papers and stuff EVERYWHERE. I can’t find anything. I’m completely disorganized and I hate it. But all I want to do is sleep. Still four and a half weeks until I can go home and throw myself into Christmas preparation, which is fun and nothing like work!

But until then, I’m hanging on.

I’ve been meaning to write this entry ever since I got back from my parents’ house this morning. I don’t know what to say, really. I could state some facts. I could say that my father has been hospitalized for congestive heart failure, and that if he had waited a few more months, I might have been attending a funeral. I could say that I’ve never seen him look thinner, and that I felt scared when I saw him. I could say that I can’t think of anything to say to him that doesn’t involve doctors and that makes me sad.

So until I know what’s going on — no more words.

And yet another entry about how hectic my life is. I just can’t wait until this rotten semester is over. Today was such a long long day. If I wasn’t so hungry, I’d probably be sleeping already. And then I have to decide whether or not I’m going to theory. Which, let’s face it, I probably will. I also have a practice session with Michelle, so I should go to it since I did so badly on the midterm.

I worked on the Ath site pretty much non stop since Monday. It’s still not done. I wonder if they’re starting to realize how much work it is? Well it’s almost done. But I have literally no time. I had to skip out on school related things in order to get as much done as I had. It’s just so much on my shoulders. Although this will be my last week with two shifts at work so the weekend can be spent relaxing more. Although now I’ve got a bunch of hours going in Apprenticeship, but I’ve heard it’s a major homework time.
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